yes? no? is it? maybe? could be?
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Beginning of a story...Part 1.
The prospective girls dad, in his royal blue shalwar kameez, was speaking in Punjabi, in a low rumbling voice to the prospective guys dad, in his off white shalwar kameez.
He was basically a salesman selling his product...his daughter. The only difference being that she did not come with a five year warranty or a thirty day no fuss return.
This one meeting could determine whether or not little X/Y kiddies would be running round the planet ten years from now. It was quite a frightening prospect. A strange feeling knowing that there sitting in front of me might be the very man that I would have to share my bed with. A strange feeling that he might be feeling the very same way about me. A strange feeling that right this second I just might be losing any control that I might have over my future life...what i wore, what I bought, What I said, What I did. Afterall at this moment it was the packaging that would determine the quality of the product!
Posted by Kat at
10:39 AM
9 comments
untitled
just one of those days where there is an emotional burst. A minute opf happiness, a blink of numbness & a whiff of sadness. Where the world surrounds you-but you are lost. Where friends stand next to you but you are still alone. Where you are looked upon but you still doubt yourself. Where you know the destination is right up ahead, but you are still afraid to move. Where all is up in the gery matter but refuses to come out. Where I need to be completely myself-but am still looking for one of the make belief selves. Where all this seems to be a dream & you just want bit to end soon!
Posted by Kat at
10:37 AM
0 comments
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
A tribute to a stranger...
Some 8 months back, on one random day, did I meet a stranger on a bus, who had this certain kind of pull, an energy that was over powering. Little did I know that my life was about to change. A short discussion on Veronica descides to die led to an endless series of talk. Thoughts that were up there in my mind since always started coming out. The hour long bus ride was just magical. When time came to part I kindoff was sad-not knowing that this meeting was just a beginning. 8 months down the lane I see myself in a whole new perspective-its like my idea of living has once again been redefined.
"I have lived a variegated life, during the course of which I have been forced more than once to change my most fundamental ideas..."
~ I am a more happy person now, life kindoff makes more sense.
~ Colour has come into my life, first it was majorly earthy tones.
~ Seeing others happy makes me the happiest.
~ I am more passionately involved in my work.
~ Am trying to relink to photography, something which I had almost given up.
~ Was always a optimist, but now its up to the brim.
~ Have taken up writing again, something which I lost some 13 years back.
~ My thoughts come out in forms of words, before it was always just a debate within.
~ Always believed in a God up there, but now the faith is the strongest.
~ Can actually watch movies patiently now and enjoy.
~ The art of letter writing has been born again. Sit, amile & write letters and then agonisingly wait for the reply.
~ Have gotten back into the reading habit.....
~ Have started to reconnect with myself once again.
~ Music makes more sense now.
~ I enjoy being bitchy at times-there was always this streak but hidden somewhere deep.
All in all, as my best friend puts it, I look like a person whos fallen in love! Just because I am happy & comfortable being who I am, a realisation that was made when a stranger stepped in. ( obviously whos no more a stranger but a dear friend, who has a tendency to be on my mind 24/7)!
Thus the notion of "Dont talk to strangers" should just be wiped away-or did I just get lucky?
Posted by Kat at
9:45 PM
6 comments
Monday, February 21, 2005
Just for one day...
For One day....
I want to be a bird...just to breeze through that feeling of complete independence.
I want to be a part of the U.S Government. I want to see do they act stupid or is it the real thing?
I want to be my dad...and see how it feels to be the only male member in the house.
I want to be the wind in the desert & see how capable I am of changing the dunes.
I want to be a butterfly...to see how they descide what flower to choose next!
I want to be the foam on the waves...to come gushing to the shore and then dissolve there.
I want to be the sunflower, just to observe how many people look at me & smile.
I want to be the sun...to provide warmth to all the cold struck place.
I want to be the silk worm, to see how tired they actually get doing all the hard work.
I want to be that shoeless flower boy at the signal, to see how much hope and strength he has within him.
I want to be a kidnappers conscience...I want to know how much it is listened too!
I want to be the flame of the candle...I want to feel how it is when I burn myself to make lilfe easier for others.
I want to be a spider...just to see how it feels to have a new house every while.
I want to be a lizard, would love to see the worl upside down.
I want to be a moth...to see how it feels to have such a short life.
I want to be a goldfish...and have no tensions whatsoever...they just have a 3 second memory.
I want to be Osama Bin laden...want to know how it feels when nearly the whole world is running after you.
I want to be Juliet...just to know how it feels to have the burning passin within!
But in the end, all I want ot be is myself, dreaming, moving, growing and evolving everyday of this life!!!!
Posted by Kat at
10:05 AM
0 comments
Thank God for collegues!
Arguements, endless eating sessions, random talking, food for thought, endless bitching sessions about people at work, a shoulder for moral support, endless help technically, helping focus in day dreaming, drawing a line between work and over work, endless critism about design (just to push my limits to make me see how much more I truely am capable off), and treating me to a box of golden wrapped chocolates when life is slightly off track....thats what great collegues are for!!!
Posted by Kat at
2:55 AM
1 comments
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Top 10 reasons why I cant marry Uzi...
1) We would forever be fighting whether our room should be painted Yellow or Black.
2) During the delivery of our second child, he would be there with a camera telling me to smile through tears so he could take pictures!
3) My family loves Uzi tremendously there would never be any In-law riots...too boring!
4) I would be bitchy 24/7 (thats what his presence does to me).
5) I dont want people to talk about the fact that I hang out with him even though I am so much better looking, and so much more saner!
6) I would be getting burnt sunflowers on valentines.....
7) He would end up wearing shorts & a t-shirt on our wedding
8) I would forever be wondering which Uzair I had fallen in love with and married...there are quite a few of them in there.
9) One of us forever would be sleeping on the couch outside...one cant sleep in an air conditioned room, and one cant sleep without it!
10) We both would forever be striving for excellence through the strength or our differences....thats asking for way too much work, we are
both not used to this much hard work!!!!
But needless to say having Uzi in life makes it so much more worthwhile, like he himself once said "I just feel we both fell in love
with each other but at different times in our lives, so I guess it was'nt meant to be...and thats life & thats beautiful too...
cause we both have each other as friends"!
Love you babees....!
Posted by Kat at
10:14 PM
3 comments
More of a warrior everyday!
Every morning, just picking up and reading a random page from Paulo Coelhos book "manual of the warrior of light" is a new hobby. Quite a few times I read a passage and break into a smile, I feel like its me there being talked about. This morning the feeling was the strongest-I felt like a warrior in my own sense!
I am never predictable!
I can dance down the street on my way to work, I can gaze into the eyes of a complete stranger & speak of love at first sight (I have actually done this), I can defend the absurdist of ideas. I allow myself days like these!
I am not afraid to weep over ancient sorrows or feel joy at new discoveries. When I feel that the moment has arrived, I drop everything & go off on some long dreamed of adventure. When I realise I can do no more, I abandon the fight, but never blame myself for having committed a few unexpected acts of folly. I, as a warrior do not spend my days trying to play the role that others have chosen for me!
Thus, I am a warrior of light in my own true sense!
Posted by Kat at
2:50 PM
1 comments
Is it love?
Throughtout the day I wait for a sms from him...is this love?
I check my mail a zillion times, hoping to hear from him...is this love?
I am the happiest when i know he is happy and smiling...is this love?
The day I dont hear from him seems to be the longest of days...is this love?
Just the thought of meeting him makes me break into a smile...is this love?
All my troubles seem to be at bay once I talk about them with him...is this love?
Though we dont meet everyday, but when hes out of town I feel kindoff lost...is this love?
When I am talking to God, more than half of the time I am talking about him...is this love?
No matter how long a time we are together, time always seems to fly...is this love?
Even the absurdist of things make sense when talking to him...is this love?
The pains, the sorrows, the bliss, the happiness, the magic-everything suddenly starts to make sense when we are together...
I think it is love!!!!!
(Love as defined by ny female cousins aged Between 8 and 15 years)!
Posted by Kat at
1:51 AM
0 comments
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
And everything descides to harmonize...
14th february, a day when few descide to celebrate, few descide to sulk and a few descide to be indifferent. For me it was a day when everything just descided to harmonize....a day when God invited me to come and fall in love with him, once again. Got back with a collegue with whom a misunderstanding had stepped in, leading me to almost hand in my resignation, work went great, a trip not looked foward to got postponed, a friend of mine who was always the shy & the quiet type admitted that he always had a liking for me (took me by shock), my room got painted bright yellow and orange-Yay! a younger cousin of mine smiled & told me that no matter how much of a nut case I was, she always looked up to me as her ideal person, my grandmother told me that I could go and buy myself whatever I wanted as my be;ated birthday gift (hmm...now I can finally get that much awaited aquamarine straing from Taneez). And the day perfectly ended at 1.49am when a friend of mine called and told me that he had gone out for a date & also gotten a valentine gift (I was happy cause he sounded happy).
Now that I didnt celebrate valentines & neither did I recieve any gifts but the cast its magic on me too...the universe descided to harmonize its aura and spell!
Posted by Kat at
12:10 PM
1 comments
Saturday, February 12, 2005
romantic.....i never thought so!
You Are A Realistic Romantic
You are more romantic than 70% of the population.
It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.You're still taken in by love poems and sunsetsYou just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!
Are'>
http://www.blogthings.com/romanticorrealisticquiz/">Are
You Romantic or Realistic?
Posted by Kat at
9:48 PM
2 comments
Thursday, February 10, 2005
La Strada
Yesterday a friend of mine emailed, asking if i was intrested in watching an Italian Classic. Not being an avid movie watcher, I reluctantly agreed to go. One reason being that I had'nt spent anytime with my friend and thought that the movie might give me a chance to talk things over with him.
The first sight of the Italian Culture center was beautiful. There was something about it. Housed in a small, petite town house, the Italian center radiated love and warmth. All at once I started looking foward to the movie. Me as a person whos not at all intrested in movies was completely captivated. . Rest is all a blur. The only elements I bought back after the movie were confused happy notions. The movie kindoff seemed like it was revolving around me. There were instances I felt it was me & just me. I felt I had the much awaited silent conversation with my friend, I thought I sensed him sad-for what reason, I just might be knowing but am too afraid to acknowledge.
All in all, the night had a magical aura to it. I yet have to figure out if it was the movie, the company or the little warm house that left me with so many endless thoughts!
Posted by Kat at
1:03 PM
0 comments
its all about perceptions!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/56366798@N00/4599845/
Posted by Kat at
10:02 AM
1 comments
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Tradition?
Tradition is important, I agree. But in evolving times we must sometimes cast off our old traditions & establish new ones.
in some ways, i am a traditional woman. In other ways, I feel like the new & emancipated woman, intent on finding my own way in the world. Will I ever succeed?
Posted by Kat at
2:27 PM
1 comments
Friday, February 04, 2005
Design or Trade?
My designing is not so much an affair of methods & processes as it is an affair of temperament, taste, emotions & sentiments. For me, in my hands my design is a work of art. For the client its a choice between art & trade!
Posted by Kat at
8:33 AM
0 comments
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Lost?
It went along that way, a life of slightly unsettled contentment, all right in general, but cut through with an aloneness I simultaneously treasured & disliked.
What for?
Beginning-taking steps foward towards the end. One step leads to another and then another. The pace fastens. All is in motion. The focus unfocuses-the vision blurred. What for-the end?
Posted by Kat at
3:20 PM
0 comments
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Little realisations that go a long way!
Every now & then we all have our very own set or realisations....in a short span of around 6 months, here goes tidbits of all that I have realised....
~ Only when you mingle with your married girlfriends do you realise what a blessing it is to be single!
~ At times "letting go"is the best thing you can do when in love.
~ Its the possibility of having a dream come true that nakes life more intresting.
~ Thank God for sunflowers, rain, chocolates, tea, friends and books. Life would be so incomplete without them all.
~ When you are in love-conciously or unconciously, it actually shows.
~ A good blowdry & a clear skin can do wonders for self confidence.
~ Spots have a funny way of knowing when to erupt. exactly when they shouldnt be there-they descide to pop up!
~ Thank God for relatives...otherwise who would you bitch about?
~ No matter how fast paced the world becomes, nothing can beat the value of snail mail!
~ No matter how much effort you put in to understand your parents...you actually never do understand them-complicated they are!
~ Sisters? Blessings in disguise! Cant live with them, cant live without them!
~ Male friends? The only species who can help you think rationally.
~ Every now & then shutting off from the world does wonders to you!
~ To be or not to be is a never ending delimma.
~ There is nothing more comfortable than curling up in bed with a good book!
~ Good company, good coffee & good enviornment are the only things that you actually need to lift your spirits.
~ No matter how hard I try its impossible to cross off everything on the TO-DO list at the first go.
~ Its one of the happiest moments when you go to a school reunion & look happier, younger & better than your old boyfriend.
~ I know that life will never give me more than what I can handle. If it seems so, its just trying to make me see how much more I truly am capable off!!!
~ At the end of the day, life is beautiful...we just dont tend to realise it!
Posted by Kat at
10:08 AM
0 comments
Previous Posts
sorry
winter comfort
choice
may you forever rest in peace
a lot can happen over coffee
really
let go of the negative energy
color me emotional
secret
karachi
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